Quiet Despiration

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation," Thoreau once wrote - and here is one. Veteran's Day I was making my coffee and saw the police coming down the street with blue lights on - and turning up the next street over. Right behind him were fire engines - way too many for that hour of the day. That's when I saw the smoke. It was already too late though.

Not for the house, though that was totalled, they were too late for the man inside. As the story unfolded, it turns out the couple had been having domestic problems, and I guess financial problems because the house was scheduled for foreclosure as well. I have to confess I don't even know their names - they always kept to themselves and the kids could not stop there on Halloween because they kept the lights out. Quiet desperation.

She left; he was alone. So he set the house on fire and then took his life. The note said something about this being an appropriate day being that he was a vet himself. Fifty three years old and done. Very quiet desperation. And I didn't even know him. None of us did.

Hey men, if you know of a man out there who is alone, maybe someone you even know but he's been down stairs for some time now, take this as a reminder that there are about a million ways men cry out for help only one of which is, "Hey help me! Please" The other 999,999 don't sound anything like that. Most of them make the inaudible noise of quiet desperation. Make a call. Drop by. Sit down beside him. But do something.

I know that this is supposed to be the Married Man's Survival Guide blog, but this is why we wrote the book, and why we do this work, and even then one slips away right under our noses.