Years ago I read a short essay by Tom Robbins called something like "How to Make Love Stay" or something like that. Aside from some wild and crazy ideas of the sort we have included in the final section of our book (250 ways to keep your woman happy and make make her smile), his orientation to love and marriage relationships shows a similar orientation to ours. It is an ownership that places us (men) squarely in charge of ourselves - and no one else. In one quote I found from Robbins, he said, “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”
What can we do to create ourselves as "perfect love?" How would we become the man our wives would cheat on us for, as Wayne Levine, and Justin Sterling both call it? Well, first and foremost you need to build your strength (no, dude, not in the gym per se) in your guts and in your passion for how you serve the world. Know what your purpose is and live it daily. Then when you turn your attention to your wife, what she'll see is a man who gives (instead of taking, and needing and whining). Love can only thrive in a place where it has no demands made of it. And what you can do to ensure that is make sure you are complete and self-sustaining.
I love the way Robbins says it: “Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
Loving your wife for free is THE only way - and it is the ultimate way to keep love alive, well and succulent.
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