Connecting the Dots

A good friend of mine suggested that I get in contact with another colleague in the New York area. Now, there are two ways one can react to this: 1. Who has the time? I don't know this guy from Adam and our paths may never cross. 2. You never know - maybe we have something in common and some good might come from the contact. Of course I belong to and am a card-carrying member of the second camp. So I called.

And the truth for me is always revealed as this is how the world works. I had a great conversation with another professional in my field who has similar interests, is approximately my age and in the meandering conversation revealed that he has been married to the same woman for the last 39 years. Well I couldn't resist asking all of those MMSG questions about how he has made it work and comparing that with the voices of the masters we had interviewed for the book - and of course learning whatever I could about his unique style and success formula.

But the really big truth I always find is that we men are really quite similar in how we approach relationships, how we see our wives - our women partners - and what we find are the little things that make for big successes in a committed relationship. It's not so much that "we all put our pants on one leg at a time" (though secretly, just to piss off the great pundit in the sky who coined that phrase, I sit down and shove both legs in simultaneously, and chuckle), it is that we share the same genetics, react to the same hormones, get schooled in the same traditions, and get slapped around by the same hierarchy that makes us so similar.

And now - thanks to my friend - this "we" contains one more man than it did a few hours ago. And that is what is important; that we grow in wisdom, one man at a time, one relationship at a time, one day at a time, and each successive day, the circle of men is larger. Oh, and by coincidence, he lives about a block away from our good friends who just moved to the City - so we are planning to get together on the next trip down! It's all about connecting the dots.