Forgiveness - Tell Us Your Story

While many would say that love is the most powerful emotion and/or action available to any human, I personally think that the ultimate power is forgiveness. It requires coming from unconditional love - so in truth, it may just be the first cousin of loving. But let's toss it out there and discuss forgiving. So your wife did something that totally dissed you. You feel left out, dismissed, let down, yadayada. Maybe she did the horizontal bop - the ultimate no-no - with your best friend! What do you do?

• You could sue for breach of contract - cool: you are right; she is wrong - GAME OVER.


• You could be hurt, crawl under your rock and give her the cold shoulder and really punish her. Maybe you withhold caring, or touch or even sex from her - that'll show her. Interestingly though you now have two problems, hers and yours. Even harder to dig out from than the original grave you dug.


• You could lash out in rage, dress her down and run the risk of losing it totally and hitting her (or at the last moment missing her and putting your fist through the wall - same result). Now she is afraid of you, feels unsafe and rightfully wants to run and hide. Hmmm - that worked - NOT!

Or you could go talk to your men and get the strength you need to get back in there and do something incredibly transformative - you could forgive. How strong are you? Hey any weakling can cop an attitude and get pissed off but it takes a truckload of strength to be able to forgive. (Gandhi said that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong - that the weak can never forgive.) Forgiveness is transformative - it changes everything. Maybe that's why all the great teachers - Gandhi, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Jr - and so many like them, all said it was the greatest gift. Forgiving is hitting the reset button in your brain - and resetting back to how things were before this ever happened. Forgiveness is not simply tolerating her "despite" whatever she did. Forgiveness is giving her back that state of adoration and love you once afforded her before. It takes real guts to stand in there and welcome her back. Nice words, guys! Right? We would love to hear your stories of forgiveness. Real men only - wimps need not apply!